Translation of the Golden Book
by SoundzofSilence
Summary: This is the painstaking translation of the first Artemis Fowl book. The book with the golden cover and the gnommish encryption on the front, and the little gnommish hieroglyphics on the bottom of the pages. It involves two prophecies...see for yourself
1. Cover

Gnommish Book:

(On the cover): Carry me always, carry me well. I am thy teacher of herb and spell.

* * *

(The Artemis Fowl Files: the fairy Book)

When a fairy is trapped above ground without magic, it is best to avoid contact with humans. Hide in the shallows of a river as humans, especially children, don't like to wash themselves. Drape yourself with the skin of a sheep, or goat as humans are often not clever enough to notice. If you are cornered by a human, slap the ground with the flat of your hand as this will often frighten the mud men away. If this is unsuccessful, admit that you're a fairy!

* * *

AN: The alphabet for the gnommish language is contained in the Artemis Fowl Files book after the advice above. I don't own Artemis Fowl or the translations above; I'm just translating them for you curious readers. My next feat will be to translate the calligraphy on the bottom of the pages of the entire book. 


	2. Prophecies of Ohm

The prophecies of Ohm, Phlegm Pot Cleaner to Frond Elfen King.

I am Ohm, Phlegm Pot Cleaner to the King.

But I am much more than that for I see the future written in the phelgm.

For centuries we pixies have read the phlegm, but I am the best there has ever been. My visions are generally of little importance. I foretell outbreaks of troll pox, of gas spasms, among elderly dwarfs.

But sometimes even a poor Pot Cleaner can see wondrous things.

A vision came to me two moons ago when I was gazing deep into his Majesty's own phlegm pot.

I was heating the pot over a flame when the sign appeared. This vision was more vivid and detailed than any I had previously seen. Because of its importance, I decided to write it down for posterity. And so I can say I told you so.

I saw an age when the people have been driven underground by the mud men. This is what the phlegm told me. In this time, one shall come among us.

Fowl by name and foul by nature. A mud man unlike any other. He shall learn our secrets and use them against us.

I see him now as plain as day.

His face is pale; he has dark eyes and raven hair. Yet it must be a mistake for he seems a mere youth. Surely no mud boy could outwit the People. But now I see that the boy is not alone.

He is aided by a formidable warrior, scarred from a thousand battles. This Fowl shall hold the People to ransom for their most precious possession.

Gold.

And in spite of all our magic, there is a chance that he will prevail.

He has discovered how to escape the time-field, unfortunately how the story ends, I cannot say. But there was more to see. There is another story to come; someone will bring the People and mud men together, the worst of both races.

This fairy's gold is to grind all the creatures of the earth beneath his boot. And who is this traitor it is not clear. But he shall start a war unlike anything the People have ever seen. Those who were enemies shall be united against him. And for the first time there will be mud men below ground.

I have one clue to his identity, a riddle:

Goblins shall rise, and Haven shall fall, a villainous elf is behind it all;

To find the one who so disappoints, look ye to where the finger points.

Instead of one face, this elf has two. Both speak false and none speak true.

While publicly he lends a helping hand, his true aim is to seize command.

I know.

It's not very plain, is it? I don't understand either. But perhaps in the future all will become clear.

Look for a power-hungry elf who has a finger pointed at him during our tale.

And so this is Ohm's legacy.

A warning that may save the world from total destruction.

There's not much to work with, I know. The details are a bit sketchy. My advice to you is to consult the phlegm. It may be that you are sensitive. I have buried this prophecy with my phlegm pot.

If you are not fortunate enough to work as a pot cleaner, then there is usually a supply of phlegm every time you have a cold. Here, needth (?) the first prophecies of Ohm. But because of the importance of my visions, I shall repeat the prophecies once more.

If you have just begun to understand the text, then read on. If you have worked out the entire message, then congratulations.

Now go and save the world.

(Repeats again in book)


End file.
